On annoying people: 'I don't know how you coulda' lasted dis long without nobody killin' ya' 

Variation of above:  '...coulda walked the Oith (Earth) dis long...'

On his ability: 'I'll take yer shoes off while yer walkin'

On ugly people: 'Looks like who did it and ran'

On ugly people: 'Who's that, bulldog Drummond?'

Line to a woman at our restaurant: 'You want Nick's meatballs ;)'

Variation of above: 'You want Nick's sausage ;)'

Drinking and playing the accordion in our Florida carport: '...and now, I'm gonna play anudder song on the accordion,... for all you old bastids!'

To his College educated son: 'Ya may be smart with that book stuff, but, you don't know nuttin'

On lost items to overweight friend: 'Why don't you look in the refrigerator (optional: 'ya fat f_c_!')

On Drinking: 'I'm drunk as the lord' (apparently meaning the lord ot the land, but, I didn't figure this out until much later, Thanks to Joe).

To depressed person: 'Have ya ever thougta'  killin yerself'

Variations: 'I'll buy ya the gun'   'I'll drive ya to da bridge'

To Golfers at golf course: 'Yeah, ya clear-head bastids'

To cross-eyed friend: 'Waddya lookin at Earl, I'm over here'

On over population: 'I can't stand all these people breathin' my air and eatin' my food'

In Florida: Hick: 'Hey Nick are you from the South?' Nick: 'Yeah, Sout' Brooklyn'

Stupid person ailment - 'Shortage of Brain'  ;)